Spent last night in the doldrums of solitude. I guess it was about that time, I go through that on occasion. Not too often, but every now and then I do wish/want/need someone to come home to.
I’m a grown-up. I make my own decisions. I’ve made the decision lately to not be dating or at least to not actively pursue those options, but last night on the drive home I wanted to be going home to someone…not to an empty, quiet house. I tried to stay busy once I got home, but that didn’t last long. Cleaned one of my bikes, but spent most of the night sitting in front of my computer playing spades, hearts and backgammon online. Yup, that’s my exciting life down in Lonsdale.
Wasn’t even really looking forward to crawling into bed because I knew my body pillow just wouldn’t snuggle back the way I wanted it to.
I asked myself why I’m not dating. Others have asked why too. My answer to them has been I don’t have time. With all the running I’m doing lately and the demands of a marathon I feel like I don’t have the time or the little time I do have should be set aside for more training. I think that’s a cop-out answer. Truth be told, I think a more appropriate answer is that I’m a chicken (not too far removed from my turkey pals I’ve been meeting lately on my runs).
Dating back before my marriage was hard, stressful enough. Especially for someone who’s quiet and reserved. Throw onto that dating resume now the terms divorcee and single parent and that immediately minimizes the dating pool. Not knowing how someone feels about those 2 big issues I now carry with me makes me even more skittish to take the initiative, along with still being quiet and reserved. I’m the kind of person who usually likes to gather the facts before making a decision. I just can’t go up to a woman and say “hey, let’s go out” without knowing first if she’s interested in me and knows what baggage* I bring. That’s just the way I operate I guess, but it does make this part of my life harder.
I think people do need others in their life romantically, we shouldn’t go through life alone. Studies have shown that (I’m not going to take the time to quote or find ‘em though so you’ll just have to trust me). When I’m out in public or at social gatherings I notice other couples and their interaction and wish I was with someone too. I do want that romantic partner again, but am too chicken to do anything about it.
Oh well, that’s my sob story for tonight. Don’t feel sorry for me, that wasn’t the purpose of the post. I’ve made my own decisions and will continue to do so.
Maybe I’m PMSing.
*Baggage is just an easy term to use. It in no way should imply my kids are an encumbrance or anything negative.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Friday, October 3, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Chomp chomp
I've come to the conclusion that Lindsay has a valid point. Damn, I hate to admit that! She doesn't know it yet, but I'll agree with her that the kids should move from the school district they're in now (New Prague) to Farmington (her choice, the one she lives in). Taking everything into account it just makes sense and from everything I've heard and been able to find Farmington is a good district.
Conner was slated to be in an advanced program this year in 3rd grade. That was my biggest holdup regarding moving him, I didn't want him to miss out on that. It turns out Farmington uses the same assessment tests to evaluate their students so they'll accept his results without needing to re-evaluate him for themselves. Kayli's fine with moving and starting middle school and Devon's just starting Kindergarten so this is as good of time as any to move them I suppose.
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Got together with "the guys" last Saturday night for a few drinks - Wade, Souk, Mesch . Always fun. We did our best Siskel & Ebert analysis and talked about a few movies. I saw Wanted a couple of weeks ago, I'd recommend it. Still wanna see Hancock and The Dark Knight. Usually I can wait for movies to come out on DVD, but lately I have the itch to watch these in the theater. Maybe I can take out a loan to go to the theater and splurge on some popcorn and a drink too. $9 just for a movie ticket, unreal.
One movie that was highly recommended (insert sarcasm) from 1 of the other 3 is Teeth. Check it out, hehehe. After being told what it was about we got quite a few laughs out of the concept. We have the sequels all lined up, or at least the names for 'em. Where do screen writers come up with some of these ideas?! Real life experiences? I hope not, especially now that I'm back out in that dating world scene (kind of, available to be anyway).
Speaking of, no, I'm not dating anyone and no, there aren't any potentials on the horizon. Thank you all for asking though quite often.
I'm fine with that. In fact, I'm not even really looking. If "she" were to fall into my lap I'd probably act on the opportunity, but I don't think I really want to be proactive in that realm right now. Occasionally I do long for someone to snuggle with or wake up next to, but for the time being I enjoy being selfish with my time and doing only the things I want to do, when I want to do them. Dating someone wouldn't necessarily allow for that. Besides, I'm not sure I could afford a date now anyway, my money's being funneled elsewhere, what little extra there is of it.
One of those funneling places is going to be for my next run, the RAGNAR Relay (http://www.ragnarrelay.com/). I'm really looking forward to this on 8/22-8/23. I'm on a 12 person team (7 gals, 5 guys) and we take turns running over pre-set distances, 1 at a time and then hand off to the next person, from La Crosse, WI to Minneapolis. A total of 205 miles, 178 different teams! Our team starts at 8:00 on Friday morning and we'll run all day, through the night and following morning until we reach the finish line. It should take us approx. 30 hours, give or take 2-4 hours. It's gonna be a hoot! I'm one of the co-captains for our team and am helping organize things. This particular race is in its 4th year I think and there are other Ragnar events throughout the country at different times. I think it would be fun to do some of the other destinations some year too.
Our team name is The Babes And The Boys and we're going to decorate our 2 support vehicles with bras, boxers and jock straps. This race highly encourages you to have fun with it and gives out awards for best team name, best van decorations, best costume, etc. It's more about the fun than the run. They also mention not to plan on getting any sleep and if you do it's a bonus. It'll be interesting to run my 5 mile leg on day 2 with sleep deprivation. If I remember I'll have to keep track of my splits.
Well, I better hit the hay. Before I do though, I think I might as well call Lindsay and tell her now. I'm sure she'll appreciate the 1:00 a.m. call. Hey, she's getting her way! I should at least be able to call when I want to, right?!
Conner was slated to be in an advanced program this year in 3rd grade. That was my biggest holdup regarding moving him, I didn't want him to miss out on that. It turns out Farmington uses the same assessment tests to evaluate their students so they'll accept his results without needing to re-evaluate him for themselves. Kayli's fine with moving and starting middle school and Devon's just starting Kindergarten so this is as good of time as any to move them I suppose.
----
Got together with "the guys" last Saturday night for a few drinks - Wade, Souk, Mesch . Always fun. We did our best Siskel & Ebert analysis and talked about a few movies. I saw Wanted a couple of weeks ago, I'd recommend it. Still wanna see Hancock and The Dark Knight. Usually I can wait for movies to come out on DVD, but lately I have the itch to watch these in the theater. Maybe I can take out a loan to go to the theater and splurge on some popcorn and a drink too. $9 just for a movie ticket, unreal.
One movie that was highly recommended (insert sarcasm) from 1 of the other 3 is Teeth. Check it out, hehehe. After being told what it was about we got quite a few laughs out of the concept. We have the sequels all lined up, or at least the names for 'em. Where do screen writers come up with some of these ideas?! Real life experiences? I hope not, especially now that I'm back out in that dating world scene (kind of, available to be anyway).
Speaking of, no, I'm not dating anyone and no, there aren't any potentials on the horizon. Thank you all for asking though quite often.
I'm fine with that. In fact, I'm not even really looking. If "she" were to fall into my lap I'd probably act on the opportunity, but I don't think I really want to be proactive in that realm right now. Occasionally I do long for someone to snuggle with or wake up next to, but for the time being I enjoy being selfish with my time and doing only the things I want to do, when I want to do them. Dating someone wouldn't necessarily allow for that. Besides, I'm not sure I could afford a date now anyway, my money's being funneled elsewhere, what little extra there is of it.
One of those funneling places is going to be for my next run, the RAGNAR Relay (http://www.ragnarrelay.com/). I'm really looking forward to this on 8/22-8/23. I'm on a 12 person team (7 gals, 5 guys) and we take turns running over pre-set distances, 1 at a time and then hand off to the next person, from La Crosse, WI to Minneapolis. A total of 205 miles, 178 different teams! Our team starts at 8:00 on Friday morning and we'll run all day, through the night and following morning until we reach the finish line. It should take us approx. 30 hours, give or take 2-4 hours. It's gonna be a hoot! I'm one of the co-captains for our team and am helping organize things. This particular race is in its 4th year I think and there are other Ragnar events throughout the country at different times. I think it would be fun to do some of the other destinations some year too.
Our team name is The Babes And The Boys and we're going to decorate our 2 support vehicles with bras, boxers and jock straps. This race highly encourages you to have fun with it and gives out awards for best team name, best van decorations, best costume, etc. It's more about the fun than the run. They also mention not to plan on getting any sleep and if you do it's a bonus. It'll be interesting to run my 5 mile leg on day 2 with sleep deprivation. If I remember I'll have to keep track of my splits.
Well, I better hit the hay. Before I do though, I think I might as well call Lindsay and tell her now. I'm sure she'll appreciate the 1:00 a.m. call. Hey, she's getting her way! I should at least be able to call when I want to, right?!
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