Mean Daddy Moment #1,793

Have you ever butted heads with a 5 year old? Have you always caved first? Yeah, me too. But not tonight! Nope! I stood my ground and stood tall for all us parents out there who eventually let our kids get their way.
Devon had a rough evening, and over something so trivial to an adult, but apparently life shattering to a kid. He didn't want to take a shower first tonight, but wanted Conner to. Yup, over that.
I told them both before supper that tonight was shower night and that Devon was going first. Sometimes they need to be told these things otherwise they'll argue between themselves. They were both fine with that, Devon even said okay. I actually even had my reasons for that order tonight, but I won't bore you with those (insignificant to you, Joe Reader, but valid here).
I slopped dinner on the table, we ate and then the fun began.
This is when he said he didn't want to go first. I said get in the shower. He started crying. I said get in the bathroom and get in the shower. He cried harder. Eventually he made it to the bathroom, but was still crying and fussing. After a couple of minutes and no sound of running water I went to the bathroom to check on him. He was just standing there crying, looking at himself in the mirror. He started crying harder and stomping his feet so I mimicked him. That didn't help the situation from his standpoint, but the game was on. He eventually got undressed with some stern warnings, but still wouldn't get in the shower. By this point, Dad's fun-quotient was used up so he had 1 more chance. Nope, he didn't take it so down to his bed he went (not willingly). Rounds 3 and 4 of who was going to get his way happened in the bedroom. After round 3 he knew he shouldn't get out of bed again, but that didn't stop the crying and screaming. Luckily it's the middle of winter so no one was walking by otherwise they might've thought Social Services should be called, I'm sure he could be heard through closed windows.
Suffice it to say, he eventually calmed down after about 20 minutes once he saw Conner was going to bed so he thought he better too.

As I'm tucking him in the conversation went something like this-
Me: Did you think Daddy was mean tonight?
Devon: (he nods)
M: I'm sorry for copying you in the bathroom. Who makes the rules in this house?
D: You do
M: Who follows the rules in this house?
D: Me and Conner
M: That's right, but I have to too. Sometimes you might not like the rules or think they're fair, but we still have to follow them, okay?
D: Okay
M: I love you and always love you even when I'm a mean daddy
D: I love you too

Tonight wasn't about who got to take a shower first. It was about the principle of doing what your told as a child, about standing your ground as an adult and not teaching your kids if they pout enough they'll eventually get their way. Parent first, friend second.

Anyone want to come down to my house and not follow my rules? I'll send you to your room!

Still here?

Sorry I've been neglecting you, my reader(s). What have you been doing with your time since it's not spent reading about my trivialities? Today I decided I'm going to make a better effort to keep you entertained on a more regular basis. If you think these postings are entertaining, well, then I think you better see someone about that. I have to admit I miss coming in here and blotting things down. I don't know why I don't more often, but it's probably from a variety of things that all boil down to not enough hours in the day.

The big thing this week is that the new TNT season and teams start this weekend! Woo hoo!! We have our Kickoff Party on Saturday. All the teams for the summer season - marathon, triathlon and bike teams - get together for a big rah rah meeting and meet each other for the first time. I like this kickoff party - getting to meet my new mentees (I'm a mentor again for the Tri team), seeing their nervous excitement, trying to guess who I'm going to be friends with by the end of the season, getting motivated by our team honorees and just having that feeling of wanting to be out there exercising with a goal in mind.

I'm fundraising again this year so check out my website and help out if you can. I'm already done with one of my fundraisers that brought in $500 so I'm off to a good start. Only a few thousand more to go!

I started training on my own a couple of weeks ago just so I wouldn't be a complete load at the start of the TNT season. It's been somewhat sporadic, but when I am out there I've really enjoyed being back at it. A coworker introduced me to her running group at the Bloomington Lifetime Fitness and they're a great bunch. I'll only be able to run with them every other Monday, but I think just that little bit will help. They're a great bunch and have some fast runners! They should help push me which is what I need. This winter has been brutal for running outdoors and I find it hard to get out there when it's just me so between TNT and now this LTF group hopefully that'll help hold myself accountable for getting my runs in.

Work has been feast or famine it seems. I'll be crazy busy for a couple of days and then there'll be a lull...and then busy again! There were some pretty major reorganizations (in the accounting world, not in the layoff sense or workforce) that took affect Jan. 1 and now that we're closing the books for the first month a lot of issues (i.e. clean-up) are surfacing. It'll be a fun next couple of days (heavy sarcasm). No major complaints coming from my end though. I'm thankful for my job and enjoy most of the people I work with.

I say most because there is that one. I'm pretty sure he doesn't read this so let's discuss - he's a slurper. It drives me nuts!!! Every morning when he gets his coffee I can hear him slurping every sip. The first day I heard it I didn't think much of it, but the next day I realized this was going to be a daily occurrence. I may eat with my elbows on the table every now and then, but I like to think I have good table manners. Slurping is right up there for me as one of the biggest no-nos for table manners. All in all he is a nice guy and probably doesn't even realize he's slurping, but C'MON! How do you tell a grown man he has a bad habit?

Well, there's my rant for tonight. Ah, that feels better.

Off To The Races

And we're off into the new year!

Conner had his Pinewood Derby for scouts last weekend. He was pretty excited heading into the weekend because last year he placed 5th in his pack and got to advance to the district races. He was pretty confident he would do it again. Without bursting his bubble or squashing his dreams I tried to instill a sense of reality into things. This year there are about 15 more boys in the pack so there was going to be that much more competition.

Over the past couple of weeks he built his car. Okay, I built it, but under his direction. He decided he wanted to go for speed so he picked the "fast" design. I cut it, but then he sanded and painted it.

We gave it a couple of test runs the morning of the races and things looked acceptable for the most part. There was a little wobble, but nothing we could do about it at that point, the wheel axles were already glued into place.

The format was that each scout would race 3 times, once on each lane, and then their average time would determine the finish order. Conner ended up winning each of his 3 heat races (3 cars race at once) so we thought there was a pretty good chance he would advance. Once they started announcing the results though we knew we had empty hopes. The 5th place car was one which had posted faster times than his in 2 out of the 3 races. Conner ended up placing 9th, an average of 6/100ths of a second behind 5th place.

Conner was pretty disappointed, but he kept himself composed. His lower jaw was pretty set and and his eyes weren't exactly dry, but he held firm and was able to muster a smile for the camera.

Devon got to race a car this year too in the "family" division (for dads, siblings, anyone who's not a scout). In a life-is-cruel sort of way for Conner, Devon ended up getting 2nd place and won a ribbon! He was so cute and a little smartass all at the same time. During his 3 races, the first 2 he got 2nd. He was happy to just be racing and said that's okay that he didn't win because "Daddy built my car anyway". My own son is calling me out! The 3rd race he won and said multiple times "I won, I won". Did Dad get any recognition that race? What do you think? He was all smiles after getting his ribbon proclaiming that's the first time he's ever won a ribbon.

It could (?) be fun next year when Devon is an official scout and they'll be racing head to head against each other. Let's just hope they both make it to districts or neither do! Actually, this year and whatever next year holds, are good life lessons learned over something minor (in a parent's eye anyway, I'm sure Conner thought this was a major letdown though).

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As for me and my non-derby races, I started training/running again last week and it feels good to be back at it. I have a few races on the horizon so there isn't going to be much downtime between now and mid-October. I was updating my Ellipsoid account the other day after a run and calculated I ran, biked and swam a cumulative 1,145 miles during '08. This doesn't count many hours inside on the spin bike. I know 1,145 is piddly compared to a few others, but I was actually surprised by it as it didn't seem like I did that much. With 2009's schedule I wonder how much I'll do. If I train properly for everything I have scheduled I'm guessing I could be bumping up against 1,600-1,700 miles this year. Check back in 12 months to find out the total I guess.

'08 Recap

Wow, over a month since my last post! I have a theory for why it's been so long, but we'll just keep that mute. Reading that last post is a wake-up call that I better get my rear in gear and start training seriously again. I actually did have that planned to start tomorrow so let the sweat begin!
This post is something that came to me on my solo drive up north last Wednesday for New Year's Eve. A 4 hour drive gives you time to ponder. This is going to kind of be a quasi year-in-review, but I'll just pick out something from each month that made it special for me. Some of these are going to be about family, some about me and the races I did and some about living vicarioulsy through others. It was kind of difficult trying to think back 10, 11, 12 months to come up with something and there are 2 months that I'm drawing a blank for anything significant, but what I did come up with all affected me somehow during the year.

January: This was Conner's first Pinewood Derby for cub scouts. Building his car brought back a ton of memories from when I was 8-10 and building my car with my dad and the subsequent races. I was able to relive some of my childhood with/through Conner, but hopefully give him some memories he'll be able to look back on 30 years from now with his son(s). He finished 5th in his pack and thus able to move on to the District races. Although the 5th place ribbon was pink he was still all smiles about winning and every time his car went down the track. Just watching him smile and be proud of how he did made me happy, but more importantly he was a gracious winner, just cheered for his car and his friends when he wasn't racing and never rubbed it in when he beat someone like I saw a couple of others do.

February: The new season for TNT started. This was my first time on the triathlon team so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. It was much larger than the marathon teams I've been on and I knew some of them already knew each other so I wasn't sure about fitting in. My past TNT experiences were all positive and I had made lifelong friends. I didn't know if these triathletes approached the TEAM aspect in the same regard, but quickly realized they did and it became another positive, "mankind is good" type of experience. I've added a few more close friends to my contact list and many "friends" to my facebook because of my TNT relationships.

March and April: These are my lost months. Apparently nothing too exciting or memorable happened these 61 days.

May: Ran the Fargo Marathon and recorded my 2nd fastest time to date. I was pretty pleased with that considering my fastest time had come almost 10 years earlier. 5 states down, 45 to go on my quest to run one in every state.

June: I got a letter from Conner's school saying he was going to be placed in an advanced curriculum for 3rd grade based on some assessment tests they give the kids. Growing up I was a pretty athletic and active kid and still did pretty well in school as well. I figured I'd be pretty proud of my kids too like my parents were once they started playing sports (not that I'm not proud of them if they don't play anything). We knew Conner was pretty astute and a good student, but once I read that letter the proud parent cup was overflowing and I was beaming! I know it's only 3rd grade, but if he can be ahead of the curve and excel in school who knows what he can accomplish when he graduates?!

July: Probably the most significant month of the year. There was addition by subtraction. My grandma had a stroke and passed away shortly thereafter. Within that tragedy though it brought my older sister back into my family's life. For 7 years she let some outside factors influence her and keep her away from my parents, my younger sister and her family, me and my family and all extended family functions and holidays. My grandma always kept in touch with her though. My grandma's passing helped my sister realize how important family can be and she took the steps to become part of our's again. We all celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas together for the first time since 2000 and the kids have begun to get to know their aunt.

August: A new running experience for me this month although the race has been around for 3 previous years. The Ragnar Relay, a team relay run covering 205 miles from La Crosse, WI to Minneapolis. This was a totally different running experience than anything I've done previously and I'm hooked on it now, it was a total blast! Staying up for 36 hours, running different stints on sleep deprivation, one starting at 2:00 a.m., being confined to a van with 5 other sweaty runners, etc etc. Ragnar has a series of these runs throughout the country, all under the same format. It would be fun to get a team to travel to some of these other races, but I'll definitely have a team every year for this WI/MN race.

September: This month I lived vicariously through 2 members I met on the TNT tri team. Kimmi and Rachel trained all year for the Ironman Triathlon in Madison, WI and a group of us went to cheer them on. I have a few other friends who have completed the Ironman, but I never went and watched them. Being at this race and cheering Kim and Rach, seeing the whole thing firsthand and knowing what the went through to even get to that point was just inspiring! Someday, when the parental schedule allows, I hope to do an Ironman. Having 2 more friends as inspiration and mentors to look to for advice can only be a good thing.

October: 2 other triathlon teammates tackled another endurance event this month and they allowed me to be a secondary part of it. Dana and Kris ran the Twin Cities Marathon, for Kris this was her first marathon (see previous posts). Leading up to this race I passed on little tidbits I've picked up along the way, about this marathon in particular and just some in general, so I felt somewhat invested in their performance. The weather conditions they had to endure were worse than anything I've ever run in which made me even prouder of how they did.

November: The Big 4-0 and another marathon on my birthday. Kind of an insane birthday present to give myself. Along with another Finishers medal I was able to be beat my Fargo marathon time and come within 2 minutes of a setting a new PR.

December: This is another PPP (Proud Parent Post) and gives me a greater feeling than anything physical I've done. Kayli informed us that she made the A honor roll for the first quarter and Conner won a drawing contest. This is the first year for the kids in their new schools after transferring districts. I wasn't sure how they'd adapt, but apparently my worries were all for naught. Kayli is a bright girl and it's great to see the transfer didn't affect her academically. Conner has proclaimed (verbatim) "he doesn't like playing sports except for bowling, but likes arts and crafts" and it showed when he won 1st place in a drawing contest for all of 3rd grade and got his holiday picture published in the local paper. He was happier about getting a $20 check.

Well, in a nutshell that's my year in review. As I was thinking about this and once I came up with my monthly choices I noticed there weren't any about me and my work. Some of these choices seem somewhat superficial in the grand scheme of things so that brought up a whole new tangent of internal debate and something else to ponder. I guess with the new year and making resolutions it's as good of time as any for some self-reflection. I might have to drive up north and back a few more times this week.